Ah, Rhoda, there's something I need to tell you.

Yeah, Mare, what is it? I got bad breath or something?

(laughs)

MARY LOOKS CONFUSED.

As a matter of fact, yes you do. But I'm only telling you this for your own good. Really.

RHODA BELIEVES MARY IS PULLING HER LEG. LAUGHS.

How about my hair, it need help too? Mare, you're too much.

(laughs again)

(now, real confused)

Rhoda! I'm not joking. Your breath absolutely STINKS! It's awful.

(shocked)

You're not kidding, are you?

No.

You mean to tell me that my breath could use a little cleaning up?

No. You breath could use some major cleaning up! It reminds me of an odor I once ran across at the beach near a porpoise which had been dead about 3 weeks ... WOW!

Ok, Ok. I get the point. What do you recommend? Just brushing?

(looks dumbfounded)

Just brushing?! Are you kidding? You need to go to a doctor.

(getting insulted)

You know Mary, your breath is not always like a rose garden either. Like the other day. You stopped by my place before going to work to pickup some stamps. You remember? You poked your head into my bedroom and asked for the stamps. I later had to pull the covers up over my head because the stench from your breath that day lingered for about an hour. You talk about stink!

Rhoda, you're just jealous because I generally smell better than you do. Admit it!

Ok. Generally, you smell pretty good. But so do I. Generally.

(grabbing Rhoda's hand)

No, Rhoda. No you don't. You generally smell bad.

(getting mad again)

Since when did you become the judge of odors around here?

Rhoda haven't any of your boyfriends ever told you about your dangerously putrid breath?

Hey! I don't need this! I'm gone! And don't try making up. This time I'm never coming back.

How about hitting that air freshener on your way out.