Ed, I've got a friend of mine coming over today to inspect you.

Inspect me? What the devil's that supposed to mean?

Okay, Ed, I'll level with you. I've picked out a companion for you.

You've picked out a companion for me! Don't I get any say so in the matter?

Don't worry, Ed. She's a fine animal. She can keep you from being lonely, if you know what I mean.

That so? She's a real looker?

Well, I suppose to a horse she is. Mike's bringing her over around two.

What kind of horse is she?

Well, I think you could say that she's half of one type of horse and

(mumbling, with hand over mouth)

half donkey.

Wait a second! Ho! What was that last part? Half horse, half what?

Ed. Sit down.

No thanks. What's going on, Wilbur?

Ed. Francis is a, a, well, Francis is a mule.

A MULE?!

Ed. Francis is a mule.

I heard. I heard.

Ed. Mule's are sterile.

Huh?

Sterile, Ed, sterile. Cannot bear young. No chance! Nada! Zippo!

A HUGE GRIN BEGINS TO FORM ON ED'S FACE.

Alright! I follow you now! When is she coming over?

About two.

LATER THAT DAY. ABOUT FIVE PM.

Wilbur, where's this hot babe of a mule you promised? This isn't funny!

Oh, didn't I tell you?

Tell me what?

Mike changed his mind. He's going to board Francis with another mule. He thought you might be too aggressive.

Didn't you tell him how docile I am?

I did. He didn't believe me. He's heard too much about you, I guess.

And, who would it be who would have told him that kind of thing?

ED SLOWLY APPROACHES WILBUR. FAR FROM THE SMILE HE EXHIBITED EARLIER, ED NOW WAS WEARING AN EVIL EXPRESSION. WILBUR BACKS UP AS ED APPROACHES.

Now, Ed, just hold on. I didn't tell Mike that much about you. Honest! Good horse. Back up, you good old horsie. Come on horsie. Ed? Ed! Ed? Ed, back up now I beg you. Come on! Aaaiiieeeee! HELP! HELP!

ED STOPS COLD.

Boy, I just love to hear you crawl!