MARY AND MURRAY ARE HUDDLED TOGETHER NEAR THE WATER COOLER.

Mary, don't you think Lou will know we're up to something when we come into his office uninvited and fool around with his lunch bag?

Murray, you idiot! We don't just waltz in and swap the contents of his lunch bag with the more healthful stuff, we play it cool. We carry this out a little more sneakily than that, for heaven's sake!

(looking insulted)

Gee, Mary, I never figured you for such a demeaning witch.

Witch?! Who are you calling a witch?

Well maybe an idiot shouldn't really use that word. Huh Mary?

Oh, Murray. I just used the word idiot because I felt it cannoted my displeasure at your simple-mindedness here. I didn't really mean that I thought you were really an idiot. For heaven's sake!

(looking comforted)

Well, Mary, I was really hurt. You know.

Hey, let's just forget it. Now, about the swap of Mr. Grant's lunch. I think -

You know, on second thought, I really don't want to push the poultry thing any more. I mean, we've - you've - got half the news department eating turkey this and chicken that. It's really none of our business what people eat!

But Murray, what about this mini-crusade we're on? Don't we want all of our friends here to be more healthy?

No, uh unh. I'm out. Besides, we might get canned for this activity. I know you aren't supporting anyone but I've got two children, a wife and 9 cats to keep going; I need my job. No, I'm out!

You know Murray, I could go for the cheap laugh about this time and use the line that I think you're "just chicken", but I won't. I'm saving that one for when this script is about to go belly up.

Don't you think that time is here now?

You might be right.

(Mary glances at the director)

Ok. Ok. Murray, I think you're just a big chicken!

MARY WAITS FOR APPLAUSE, OF WHICH THERE IS VERY LITTLE.

Hey Mary, I think you might have underestimated the hipness of the audience just a wee bit.

MURRAY GRINS TO SEE MARY SQUIRM.

(Mary just stares at Murray)

I said, I think you're a big chicken!

MARY JUST STARES AT THE DIRECTOR.

Hold it folks. Am I missing something with this departure from the script? Cause I don't like what I'm hearing!