I think I can safely state that watching this flick was the biggest waste of time I have ever been a part of. A guy flunks out of high school, joins the Army, beats up people, gets beat up, warms up to crippled street people. I had to keep pinching myself to stay awake.

Well, I do agree with you on one point. Ripchick, played by the way, coincidentally, by an actor whose real name is Ripchick - Ripchick Eddins, seems to be a magnet for violence. I do believe he had a beating ratio of about 1.3.

Beating ratio? What does that even mean?

Ripchick got more than he gave. I thought my stat was pretty self-explanatory.

Well, I disagree.

(beat)

Anyway, how many times can the audience watch Ripchick hammering someone or someone hammering him before it is just plum ridiculous and boring?

But, that's all to set the stage for the irony brought in later on. When Ripchick befriends that street person with the fake leg, it brought tears to my eyes.

Tears? I think I had dozed off way before that part.

Well, you missed some good acting.

I bet.

No, really. Ripchick even offered to pay to have the guy's wooden leg professionally treated for termites and such. Heartwarming, especially since the same guy, before the leg problem, had been a guy Ripchich had encountered and whooped badly.

Whaaaat?

Yeah. Didn't you stay awake long enough to see the young Ripchick tear into that alligator farm owner? That was the guy who ended up with the wooden leg!

You don't say! Gee, I wonder how his leg was taken off.

Well, I thik we are led to believe it was a gator what did it. But, that was not actually shown.

Well, it would have made this bomb a lot more interesting if that had been shown!

I think the audience will always watch an alligator going after anything, don't you?

Maybe.

(beat)

Until next time, when we will discuss the new monster film, "Godzilla 2024 Through 2028", I'll say, so long from Junior Peabody ...

... And Joe-Bob Lewellyn.

(beat)

Are we still on?